So, it’s been 11 months and 10 days ago from today that I came across the most amazing person named Esther.
In about 2 hours from now, is when I first talked to her over the internet cam site called stickam. I was bored, randomly clicking on people when I came across a really wonderful person. I laughed when I read her profile. She said she enjoyed walking on the beaches of Nebraska. So me being a smart one… decided to go in there and be like “NEBRASAKA HAS BEACHES?” and right there is when all the magic happened.
We started talking daily, over IM, over Stickam, over Text Messages. And wow, it has been the most amazing 11 months of my life. Though, it’s been a heck of a ride! Believe me. November started out pretty shaky.
Either way. I love her, and I know that we will be together forever! Whether it be for 5 minutes, or 50 years. Her and I will be together until death. =)

So I’ve unpacked my suburban that had all my stuff in it from Nebraska. I have so much STUFF. Like 50 pairs of jeans I had out there, 20 shirts. Ridiculous!

I’m uploading all my photos from the trip of the curse.  I was trying to upload them to Facebook, but kept getting errors. Decided to throw them up with my Mackinaw photos.

http://www.x404.org/photos/index.php?album=KCcurse

Also, an unexpected surprise! Esther took photos of the flowers I bought her, and of herself smiling in her fancy new pajamas with my camera that I left there. Esther is awesome! I had a smile ear to ear when I noticed them hehe.

Anyway. Some scripture to share today. I did not get as much of a chance last night to read the bible like I’ve been doing.

The following are from the “New Living Translation” of the Bible

Proverbs 19:21 - “You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.”

This reminds me of Esther and I. We were both trying to plan our lives together. We failed.

Proverbs 20:24 - “The Lord directs our steps, so why try to understand everything along the way?”

I don’t understand the reasoning of our break. Other than it was a wake up call. It was God’s choice - what’s there to understand?

Proverbs 21:23 - “Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble.”

This one is a biggy. I didnt watch my tongue with Esther’s parents. I spoke at the wrong time, and the wrong words. Did I stay out of trouble? No. It got me into trouble.

The following is from “The Message” translation of the Bible

Proverbs 21:5 - “Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind.”

Basically to me this is saying “You can plan, but don’t rush your plans.

Proverbs 21:31 - “Do your best, prepare for the worst—then trust God to bring victory.”

Never slack, always think the worst will happen but trust that God will bring you through whatever he puts in front of you.

This is my post for the day. Thanks to God! All praise him in everything you do.

Today, I resigned from Mozor. An internet community of which I helped start more than 3 years ago.

I felt as it was required by me, to step down from my position that I had in order to pursue more important things in life.

Such as,

• Getting more spiritually in touch
• Working out issues between Esther and I
• Working out the negativity between Esther’s family and I
• Working on myself (Controlling behavior, foulness towards Esther, my Perversion, Sexual Desires, Happiness with myself - so I can share it with others)
• Working the kinks out required to have a solid relationship with anyone

Life will get better, and it will continue to get better - Regardless of whatever kinks or bumps are in the road.

Esther and I spoke over the telephone today, for 58 minutes. We had tears, both of us. We shared thoughts, we communicated. Things between us are good, yet require time apart for obvious reasons.
When you spend too much time with someone - you lose interest, you start to dislike the other person for all the wrong doings that come about. You become imune to their thoughts, their feelings, and what they need. This is not good, and needs to be changed. Reason we are working on it!

Esther and I agreed, that once we are back together in person we both should live in seperate locations. Whether it be, her living with her parents and I have an apartment, it won’t matter. So long as we have our own safty zone of comfort. Where we can go to unwind, and not have to worry about entertaining the other person.

Our break, although difficult and hard to understand. Has to happen. For whatever reason it might be, so long as we don’t spend too much time apart. To where our desires, and feelings towards the other person either take over our body, or get to the point where you lose all feelings towards the other person. Seperation is important in relationships, however at such a distance like we are facing now makes things that much more difficult that it feels like it should be.

With this, I hope that the two of us are able to work out our problems. Identify our own problems, and share these problems with each other. Once we share our own problems with each other, the chance for us to work towards these problems together greatly increases. And then will in turn let us be aware of the problems we have as a couple.

Life is great, live life in peace, don’t worry, love all, and most importantly - praise God through whatever troubles you might face.

Everything in life will be okay, so long as you trust God.

And pray that I can become a stronger person, Esther can become a stronger person, and that all things good that we deserve come to us. And that we can overcome our fears, our issues, and our communication barrier with the help of God and that everything will be okay between the two of us for Eternity!